Scrabbled: How to Beat the Queen

loser queen

This year, for the first time in 15 years of marriage, my husband beat me in Scrabble. Twice.

You must understand, I am the Scrabble Queen. Trained from childhood to vanquish challengers, I float like a butterfly and sting like a bee. A spelling bee.

Alas, I’ve been dethroned in my own castle by a mere mortal. A man who only learned to play Scrabble because it’s my favorite game.

How, you ask? How did this injustice happen?

My husband has discovered a secret weapon. An Achilles heel.

He invites our six-year-old son to play Scrabble with us.

“MYFILT,” says the child. “I have myfilt. M-Y-F-I-L-T.”

“Honey, that’s not a word,” I say. “You have to make a word.”

“FLIMTY,” he says. “How about flimty?”

“No, that’s not a word either.”

My husband remains silent, part of his diabolical strategy.

“Mom, how about MILE? That’s a word!” he says, “I can put down mile.”

He reaches across the board. Only it isn’t his turn. And there is no place to put mile.

tile pile

“Baby, it has to fit in with the other words on the board. Like a crossword puzzle. And you have to wait your turn,” I say. “It’s mommy’s turn now.”

I look at my slate. I look at the board. All I can see are tiny, no point words. AND, BUT, OR. It’s Conjunction Junction in my head.

“Can it go diagonal?” the child says. “I could put it right here diagonal.” Letters slide askew across the table.

“Let me help you put this back together,” I say. “And I’m sorry but you can’t put a word on the board diagonally.”

Not a peep from my husband. He is deep in stealth concentration, planning his next move.

“T-Y-L-I-F. TYLIF. Tylif, tylif, tylif!”

“Honey, let momma see what you have,” I say. “We’ll come up with something.”

At this point, I get up from my seat, leave my slate, go around to where my child is sitting, and analyze the letters on his slate. We form words. Wonderful words like tile, file, lime, time, elf, my…

Hey, wait a minute. It’s my turn.

An hour later, my husband breaks 200 points, my son breaks 100 and I’m stuck around 59. Stunned, I leave the table reeling with defeat. What happened?

the cub

My husband knows the one thing the queen cannot resist.

Want to distract her? Throw her off game? Beat her at Scrabble?

Bring in her cub. Works every time.

He tends His flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in His arms and carries them close to His heart; He gently leads those that have young. Isaiah 40:11 NIV

To see School House Rock’s Conjunction Junction on YouTube click here.

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Filed under humor

6 Responses to Scrabbled: How to Beat the Queen

  1. Sue Jenkins

    Love it! Great story, great pictures, great family! We <3 & miss you!

  2. Lisa

    I love Scrabble and my sister whoops me every time. She takes it like a personal defeat if she doesn’t use all 7 letters, which she does 2-3 times a game, I kid you not. Great mommy. Sneaky pop. :-)

  3. Krista

    Aimee, since you like Scrabble so much, have you tried Bananagrams? It’s almost like a fast-paced version of Scrabble, played with 2+ players, using tiles that everyone pulls from, but you make your own words not building on others. It’s highly addictive!