How I Almost Became a Troll

i am not a troll

I didn’t know what a troll was until one came to my site.

His strong negative reaction to a post was a dead give away. He implied I should be arrested. Wonderful.

To me, trolls were strange, little garden statues. Wait, that’s gnomes. Told you I didn’t know what they were.

Let’s try that again.

To me, Trolls was a bar in the basement of a building across the parking lot from my sorority house in college. Smelled like beer. Had foosball tables and booths. Became the second living room of the sisterhood. The one where alcohol and boys were allowed.

That was Trolls, until Mr. Meanie came a calling on my blog. I was crushed. I feared he would key Cranberry Mary. Stick pins in a voodoo doll of me. Or worse.

My husband, the calming force in our home, told me it would be okay. The comment wasn’t that bad.

You know, he’s right. I’m small change on the blogosphere. I have it easy. Upon further research, I discovered there are entire sites devoted to dissing other people’s sites. Meanies, every one.

i am not a troll

Who has time for this? I can barely keep the wheels on my own blog, much less create another one to ridicule, criticize, or spew at people.

Then last week, a twist. I’d been following this Blogger who shall remain nameless. That’s Blogger with a capital B.

Blogger enjoys an enormous following. I like Blogger, but Blogger writes things with which I disagree about topics that matter to me.

I first read Blogger when a friend sent me a link a few weeks ago. In response, I submitted my comment of respectful disagreement.

The next week, I visited Blogger’s site to be rankled by another post. I submitted my comment of respectful disagreement.

Then last week, I read a post by Blogger on a popular website. Blogger was once again wrong (surprise). I submitted my comment of respectful disagreement.

This time something went horribly awry. The captcha bit me. The queue malfunctioned. My comment appeared multiple times. Like a broken record. On a major site. In response to Blogger with a capital B.

Immediately, I contacted the site to correct the mistake. Prayed no one noticed the fumble from small change on the blogosphere.

That’s when it hit me. Each time I read Blogger’s work, I get upset enough to lodge a complaint. No matter how respectful I am, my response is still negative.

i am not a troll

This may be Blogger’s modus operandi. Stir the pot. Salt the wounds. Elicit a response. Spike the stats. Who knows? Doesn’t let me off the hook. I was becoming a troll.

If you come here to my itty bitty blog, and what you read repeatedly upsets you, gets your panties in a wad, sends your blood pressure soaring—well, against all blogging wisdom about building an audience, I would probably suggest you not come back.

Lively discussion in the comments is welcome. But I bristle at my blog being a source of upset for readers. Challenge, maybe. Upset, not so much.

Don’t know if I’ll continue to read Blogger. Sure Blogger has impressive stats. But Blogger brings out the troll in me. That’s not acceptable. Trolls in my life will best remain a memory of a bar in the basement of a building across the parking lot from my sorority house in college.

If we claim we have no sin, we are only fooling ourselves and not living in the truth. But if we confess our sins to Him, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness. 1 John 1:8-9 NLT

Choke me in the shallow water before I get too deep. What I Am by Edie Brickell & New Bohemians.

Everyday Q&A II: Tell Her About It

When I started blogging, I didn’t know what I was doing. Still don’t in many ways.

barking dog as seen at Williams-Sonoma

Everyday Q&A was an attempt to let you in on what I was learning so you could learn too. We’re all in this together.

Time for Q&A II. A sequel about comments and sharing.

Q: Should I comment?

A: Yes, but only if you want to. Comments are always appreciated and always optional.

Q: What should I write?

A: Whatever you like within the bounds of good taste and discretion.

Q: What if I make a mistake or change my mind after it’s posted?

A: Contact me at everyday epistle at att dot net if you need me to change or remove your comment. I will be happy to oblige. A word of caution: once it’s out there, it’s out there.

Q: Huh?

A: As best I can understand, web browsers like Google periodically store content in caches.

If Google caches a post before a comment’s removed or changed, that comment may show up in a search even after it’s removed or changed, at least until Google crawls around again to cache the revised version.

Don’t ask me how. It’s like elfin magic.

biggest fan as seen at Lambert's in Ozark, MO, "the only home of throwed rolls"

Q: Do I have to be a blogger to comment?

A: No. Anyone can comment on any post. A lot of the folks who comment are bloggers. Many are not.

Q: Do I have to join a group?

A: Yes. You have to join the everyday epistle fan club. Just kidding. Membership is not required to comment.

You can like everyday epistle on Facebook if you want. That’s the closest thing there is to a fan club.

Q: Do I have to use my real name?

A: Use whatever name you want. One friend uses an anagram and another uses an alias. Seriously.

Q: Why would they do that?

A: Remember, once it’s out there, it’s out there. If you use your full name and someone like an employer, your significant other, or your mom searches, they very well may find you and your comment here.

stealing my identity bumper sticker

Q: Why do I have to give my email address?

A: Security. Your email address is not published on the blog. Only WordPress and I can see it.

Q: Why might I have to type a captcha?

A: Security again. Trying to keep the spammers at bay.

Q: How can I get my picture to show up beside my comment?

A: For WordPress, go to Gravatar and upload a photo there.

Q: Do you even read the comments?

A: Yes. I read them all. And I try to respond to them all. Dew drop inn to dialog.

Q: Should I share a post I like?

A: Yes, please. Word of mouth is the way this community grows.

Q: How do I share a post?

A: Go to the end of the post you want to share and click on the button for how you want to share it (Facebook, Twitter, email, print, WordPress reblog, Pinterest). WordPress may ask you some security questions to complete the share.

angel flag

Q: What happens when I share a post?

A: It will be shared by you in the outlet you chose. Your people will read what you liked and maybe like it too. And every time you share a post, an angel gets his wings. It’s a wonderful life!

And don’t forget to do good and to share with those in need. These are the sacrifices that please God. Hebrews 13:16 NLT

BJ says: Tell her about it. Tell her how you feel right now.

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