Go for Broke?

Write your heart out. Go for broke. Ursula K. Le Guin

Ann Taylor sign
Ann’s here

There are days I’m tempted to quit writing and go to work at Ann Taylor.

You may have expected me to say J Crew instead of Ann Taylor. Well, J Crew has yet to respond to my request to open a store in Wichita. Better get with the program, Jenna Lyons. Ann’s here and she’s vying to be my go-to store.

Ann Taylor. Pretty clothes. Sweet discount. Sleek space. Well-defined career opportunities.

I can hear the imaginary trolls of Nightmare on Aimee Street. “Yes!” they say. “It’s about time she got a real job.”

Why are they still hanging around anyway? Be gone, oh ye of little faith!

Back to Ann. I could work while the child is in school. Cook fine dinners from Pinterest recipes in the evenings. Sleep normal hours instead of waking up in the middle of the night to plink plink plink away at the keyboard until I’m cross-eyed.

I wouldn’t wonder where this is going, what’s the plan, how will I get there. Wouldn’t need to take a stand on controversial food, social, and cultural issues or dread negative comments. Wouldn’t fear people hating me and my blog because there would be no blog. There would only be Ann.

Ann is a possibility. She hangs like a life jacket on the back wall of my brain.

Until I remember the rush of writing and publishing and facilitating a dialogue. It’s like a throwing a mini party with every post. I can’t get that with Ann.

I can have a pleasant career, a steady paycheck, and very nice clothes with Ann. No shame in that, but it’s not my passion. I can sell dresses with cheerfulness and take joy in the new arrivals each season. But it’s not the thing that makes me sing.

no parking no waiting
no parking no waiting

There’s a little stream of stories inside me that hasn’t run dry yet.

God provides. God provides.

What if I just write until it does?

Shall we go for broke, you and I?

What do you say?

And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, He will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith? Matthew 6:30 NLT

Rush for a Change of Atmosphere by Big Audio Dynamite. For M.

Will you go for broke?

5 thoughts on “Go for Broke?”

  1. Pingback: I'm Not Chicken Anymore - It's Time For More Coffee

  2. Just write. You can, and you know how to do it darn well. As a former retail employee of not-that-long-ago, I can tell you how soul-killing that job becomes very quickly. It said something when the arrival of new collection meant not joy but a headache of stripping and rebuilding everything in the department.
    However, if you stay on your current course, you will have a pleasant experience, a steady flow of readers (including me!), and hopefully very nice comments. You can do it. And I can bet you just about anything that you will enjoy it – and if you enjoy it, it will just come out right at the very end. If it’s not right, it’s not the end yet. :)

    1. Nusy, I have to meet you the next time I’m in California. You have been a great encouragement to me! I don’t mind some unpleasantness; the disagreeing comments are invigorating to me if they allow respectful dialog. I think that’s critical.

      I love how you ended your comment so much. Worth repeating:

      “Everything will be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end.” Carolyn Myers, playwright

      And it’s not :)

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