In admiration of Ilene Beckerman’s book Love, Loss, and What I Wore, I give you my life in lipstick.
L’oreal Mica. Love at first sight. Faithfully wore it under Bonnie Bell rollerball lip gloss until the 80s crumbled with the Berlin wall.
Neutrals flooded the early 90s. I fell for Clinique’s Honey Ginger in a free gift with purchase. Head over heels, I broke up with Mica and never looked back.
But Honey Ginger was too orange for me. I began seeing Think Bronze on the side.
Then in 1995, I got married in real life. A Clinique free makeover introduced me to the soft, creamy neutrality of Tenderheart. It would be my steady companion for 10 years, with interludes of Bronze Leaf.
In 2005, I emerged from a postpartum haze looking a little worse for wear. Time for another Clinique free makeover. The gentlewoman in the white lab coat coddled me.
“You’re a Winter,” she said. “I’d hate for you to miss out on color. Let’s try some berries.”
She spoke my language. I was a Winter. I am a Winter. I needed berries. I needed Berrylicious.
Berrylicious sang on my lips. A soul mate in a tube. We spent four beautiful years together. Until that fateful day in Macy’s.
“What do you mean it’s discontinued?!” I said as the salesgirls cowered. All I have left are the flattened remains in the silver cylinder, tarnished with years.
Tried Water Violet for a spell. Tried Heather Moon. Returned to Tenderheart, with interludes of Chocolate Ice.
Finally, I could stand it no longer. I took my pitiful, leftover Berrylicious on a mission to color match.
After a few discouraging tries with other brands, I stood staring forlornly at the Macy’s Clinique display. The gentlewoman in the white lab coat approached.
“Have you tried Perfect Plum?” she said, “It’s the Butter Shine formulation.”
The heavens opened. Perfect Plum wasn’t Berrylicious, but it was, well, perfect. We’ve been inseparable.
I go through tubes of it, relentlessly applying and sealing with gloss. Bonnie Bell rollerballs are no more, so I’ve taken up with the seasonal delicacies of Philosophy high-gloss, high-flavor sweet candy lip shine instead. Mmm.
Had a scare earlier this year in the makeup capitol of the mall. Couldn’t find Perfect Plum in the Clinique case at Sephora.
“Do you have any Perfect Plum?” I said breathlessly after a sprint to the Macy’s Clinique counter.
They did and I do. Clinique headquarters assured me it’s not discontinued. Yet.
Berrylicious is gone forever. So is Honey Ginger. My other past Clinique colors are still available. And recently I bumped into Mica at Walmart.
Mica looks good. I was tempted to buy. But I look good too. So I’m dancing with the Perfect Plum who brought me. For the time being anyway.
Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever. Hebrews 13:8 NLT
Finally, a link up to The Go-Go’s! Our Lips Are Sealed.
I’m not being paid to endorse any of the companies mentioned in this post. One company could, however, consider throwing me a bone for all the press I give them here and in The Great Clinique Heist of 2011. We’ll call it even for discontinuing my favorite lipstick.
Title inspiration thanks to Girl, Interrupted.