The Three Bears Go House Hunting

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As we make plans to relocate to Wichita, my husband’s employer is sending us on a house-hunting trip. Momma Bear, Papa Bear and Baby Bear have different priorities for this excursion.

“Mom,” said the Cub, “we need lots of space.”

“What do you plan to do with lots of space?” I said.

“We need lots of space so we can have a soccer field,” he said. “Or a long-distance swimming pool.”

Papa Bear is also concerned about outdoor space. Give him room, lots of room. Don’t fence him in.

He grew up on a farm. You know what they say. You can take the boy off the farm, but you can’t take the farm out of the boy.

Problem is, Papa Bear already has a job and farming is not it. Nor is landscape gardening. Nor lawn mowing.

Hobby, yes. Phenomenal green thumb, that man. But full-time work? And don’t think for a minute Momma Bear is interested in taking the reigns of a Deere.

Search criteria for Papa Bear consists of lot size, proximity to the neighbors, and what backs up to the property. Heaven forbid we back up to another house.

cubs sculpture, as seen at the National Zoo

“Here’s one,” he said as we perused real estate sites, “and we wouldn’t have to worry about anyone building behind us.”

“Why’s that?” I said.

“See this big field behind the property on the map?” he said. “It’s a cemetery.”

Momma Bear looked up to see if he was serious. He was. Dead serious. She huffed a low growl under her breath.

“What else have you found?” she said.

Papa Bear cracked a smile. “So living next to a cemetery is out of the question?”

“Completely.” Grrr.

Momma Bear’s main concerns are for the innards of the house. She would like an open floor plan so everyone can be together. She would like the heat to work in the winter and the air conditioner to work in the summer.

Enough room so every bear has his space, but not too much that she can’t clean up in a jiffy. A yard bigger than a postage stamp, but smaller than a park.

bear chair detail, as seen at the National Zoo

Our relocation agent has her work cut out looking for our just right.

One tidy, cozy, move-in-ready, little house on the prairie with a soccer field for a yard that doesn’t back up to another house or a cemetery.

Hibernating would be simpler. Any empty caves available in Sedgwick County?

Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. Ephesians 4:13 NIV

We can work it out.

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24 Comments

Filed under family & friends, humor

24 Responses to The Three Bears Go House Hunting

  1. House hunting is difficult! We’ve been looking for a house for quite a while… and we have lots of standards to meet, from a tight budget to a tight area of town where we want to live; size, yard, bathroom, kitchen, neighbors and so much more! Thankfully, we’re in no rush, but I hope you guys find the ideal bearcave for all of you!

  2. Cheryl Brewer

    Love the post…. We back up to a cemetery and it is quite useful. Great during Halloween, quite at night, kids love to play in it, deer meander and eat the grass without being disturbed. Don’t rule it out Aimee!

    Good Luck and fun with your hunt!

  3. Some of my fondest memories are playing in the cemetery behind my grandmother’s house in Knoxville. Too often the adults would bore us to death (sorry for the pun) with idle talk, so all of the kids would venture out to it. The TV was never on unless the Vols were playing–so there was very little to do if the game was blacked out. LOL We knew not to disturb the graves but loved making up stories about the lives of those buried there. Hmmmm…maybe that’s why I love genealogy so much as an adult…

    Best of luck!!

    • Lara, you make a very good point. I remember what a big deal it was for the Allen Jay kids to take a field trip to Springfield Cemetery. Those are some OLD headstones. Seems we’d always go in October. It was spooky and magical and peaceful all at the same time. Sounds strange, but good memories!

  4. Kari

    Praying the right house is found quickly. If not, you can always buy one of the old missile silos the government is trying to sell. Lots of room :) Cemetery is looking better, isn’t it? House hunting in a strange town is hard. Gotta keep a twisted sense of humor. Good luck!

  5. Christel

    I would surely move where the cemetery is………no one will bother you! Lol

  6. Elizabeth Whelan

    Your story sounds very familiar to the house we bought in Chesterfield. Don needed land and space! So he finds “us” an acre that backs up to four acres of common property. Nice. I asked him how “we” were going to take care of the yard since we both worked 24-7. His reply, “It will be my new outlet for relaxation.” No worries…right? Hmmm…”I” would start mowing on Saturday with a push mower and spend the entire day diong it while Don had to be at the office “just this once”. He felt guilty so he bought “us” a riding mower. Turns out I had talent for handling that job. After time I turned it over to him. His first morning out…he’s back in my kitchen ten minutes later..on break!! Yes, the new yard service helped heal that area of conflict. But the deer ulitmaltely did me in after eating my “potential” prize winning hibiscus!!!

    You will find the right home with God’s blessing and guidance…promise!!!

  7. I see you as Pioneer Woman…..

  8. I have no doubt you will find a house that is “just right” Sending prayers of an easy transition for you all.

  9. I do not look forward to the day that we will go house hunting again; but, as our mortgage is under water and we intended on staying here 5-7 years (we’ve been here four), we’re not going anywhere any time soon barring some extraordinary circumstances.

    Frankly, shortly after buying this home I came to the realization that it was not a smart move – wonderful neighbors and neighborhood in general – as the house and property have all sorts of issues.

    Maybe you could find a property that butts up to or is near a public park? This way your boys get the large expanse they desire, and your family doesn’t need to keep it up.

    Our dream is to buy some sort of hobby farm or turn a nice chunk of land into a small farm with the goal of becoming as self-sufficient as possible. I grew up in the country – but not on a farm – though while hard work isn’t something I shirk, the idea of keeping a farm does sound daunting.

    And cemeteries… your husband has a good sense of humor. But hey, everybody has to live somewhere…

  10. Yep a cemetary would be a deal breaker for me too!

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