You displayed grace (and some of you restraint!) for last Thursday’s post about Chick-fil-A. Whether you agreed or disagreed with me, you kept it dignified. We want everyone to feel welcomed and respected here regardless of their views.
According to their website, BlogHer reaches 40 million women each month. I’m honored, thrilled, and terrified to be published there as a syndicated writer.
Please go to BlogHer to see the post and consider leaving a comment. Whether you agree or disagree the issue at hand, I know you’ll comment with dignity and respect.
Whether you’ve been here since the beginning or since last week, you are an encouragement to me, and I am thankful for you!
My counsel for you is simple and straightforward: Just go ahead with what you’ve been given. You received Christ Jesus, the Master; now live Him. You’re deeply rooted in Him. You’re well constructed upon Him. You know your way around the faith. Now do what you’ve been taught. School’s out; quit studying the subject and start living it! And let your living spill over into thanksgiving. Colossians 2:6-7 The Message
scarlett macaw, image by rotorod, creative commons license
Admit it. We subscribe to news sources slanted toward our beliefs. We listen to commentators we like. We friend people on Facebook with the unspoken expectation they won’t offend us with their status updates.
We block or unfriend them if they do. We leave snippy comments or stop reading bloggers when they push it too far.
Creating a room full of parrots is a piece of cake. Imagine an island.
Welcome to Parrot Island! Your feathers are lovely. Your feathers are lovely. Your feathers are lovely! Margarita? Margarita? Don’t mind if I do. I do. I do!
Conflict is not my thing. I like to read and relate to folks who see things my way. The world’s all warm and fuzzy when people agree with me.
I don’t have to venture very far offshore before I’m troubled by the other side’s point of view. The surf. The waves. The water. Where’s the drop off? How far does it go down? Is there riptide? Who lives across the water?
Beyond the hype, beyond the labels working or stay-at-home, conservative or liberal, Christian or atheist, gay or straight, there’s a person. And possibly an opportunity.
Another writer with a razor sharp wit. We could spar over dinner. An old classmate who seems like a sibling now. We share years. A stranger who savors mint tea as much as I do. Pour me a cup. Or not.
I may never become best friends with the person on the other side, but we can still be polite. We can agree to disagree. We might even learn something.
I am not a parrot, image by rotorod, creative commons license
Don’t get me wrong, dear readers. I treasure every sweet comment you keyboard as I’m certain do most bloggers.
People thrive on being in community with others who share common interests, goals, and beliefs. It’s unhealthy to remain in relationship with those who abuse you or trample your boundaries.
But I wonder if Wading Across was onto something when he said the folks benefiting the most are those who read all the positions. You know, the ones taking it all in. The ones listening.
And I wonder if their thoughtful comments of agreement or disagreement serve to promote understanding.
Novel concepts, listening and understanding. Might come in handy as we enter the heat of election season. Easier said than done of course. Because birds of a feather flock together.
Care to leave a comment? Don’t mind if I do. I do. I do!
Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone. Romans 12:18 NLT
Island music with Bob Marley and the Wailers: Stir It Up, little darling.
What do you think can be gained by sharing and listening to different opinions? What can be lost?
This post was syndicated by BlogHer on July 30, 2012.
The ruckus over Chick-fil-A raises the question: Who’s behaving like the hater here?
Chick-fil-A president and chief operating officer Dan Cathy’s recent comments in Baptist Press should come as no surprise. The company is privately owned. In 45 years of existence, their restaurants have never been open on Sundays. They’ve always supported a traditional, Biblical definition of marriage and family.
drive thru
“We intend to stay the course,” said Cathy in the article. “We know that it might not be popular with everyone, but thank the Lord, we live in a country where we can share our values and operate on biblical principles.”
So, let’s see. They haven’t changed their religious views. They aren’t refusing to serve people who disagree. We’re free to express our beliefs in this country.
Why the uproar now?
Chick-fil-A’s charitable donations were being criticized before the Baptist Press published their story. When Cathy reiterated his long-held convictions, in a religious publication mind you, Chick-fil-A critics were poised to pounce.
Another commentator wants public schools and sports facilities to stop doing business with Chick-fil-A because they support families through non-profit groups that share their beliefs. Are you kidding me?
Attacking a successful company is unlikely to change anyone’s mind. It won’t help the economy either. Plus it’s mean.
I suppose I could stop buying clothes from J Crew, write nasty grams on their Facebook page, insist they be thrown out of malls that have received tax breaks, and start picketing their stores.
But that would just make me a bully who’s missing out on some mighty fine fashion, now wouldn’t it?
family night meet-and-greet the cow
Chick-fil-A uses their resources to support and care for families in ways they see fit. That includes contributing to non-profits that share their beliefs.
Speaking from experience, that also includes family activity nights at their restaurants, refreshing beverages for free, and politely carrying trays to tables for mothers like me who have their hands full. Besides, the food is delicious.
I don’t hate gay people. I don’t believe the Cathy family and their franchisees hate gay people. I don’t plan to stop eating at Chick-fil-A anytime soon. I understand if your convictions differ. You can stop eating there if you want.
You’ll be missing out on some mighty fine chicken if you do.
But as for me and my family, we will serve the Lord. from Joshua 24:15 NLT
It’s morning. The entire day is ahead of me. Already I know there won’t be enough time to accomplish all I want. I bet many of you can relate.
Ladies and gentlemen, we can’t have it all.
power mom, as seen at Brookstone
This idea that we can excel at work, be happily married, parent effectively, exercise strenuously, volunteer wholeheartedly, entertain, invest, maintain an orderly house, grow our own food, cook gourmet meals, train as concert pianists, and blog on the side is unrealistic, wouldn’t you agree?
Work-life balance is a human condition, not a women’s issue.
Men struggle with this, too. I don’t mean to leave them out of this discussion, nor do I mean to ignore single people or those who aren’t parents. However, the debate over work-life balance for moms gathered new steam with Anne-Marie Slaughter’s recent article in the Atlantic Magazine.
Our time, strength, and resources are limited. We have to pick and choose. There are opportunity costs.
Years ago when Rosie O’Donnell was adopting another child to add to her brood, I was struck by the honesty of what she told her audience one day on her show. She said although we may see her as having it all—as a celebrity, businesswoman, author, activist, philanthropist, fundraiser, and parent—what we see belies what happens behind the scenes.
Rosie said she has help. Lots of help. And money. Lots of money. Her situation is different from that of her viewers.
First Lady Michelle Obama official portrait
Today the same could be said of Marissa, Angelina, Gisele, Giada, First Lady Michelle Obama, and other high-profile moms. That’s not to criticize or suggest they don’t work hard. It’s simply to state a fact; their situations are vastly different than most women’s.
What are you called to do? Pick and choose that. Pursue it with passion. Kick the rest to the curb without guilt. Resist judging when others do the same in their lives.
Comparing ourselves to the unrealistic and untrue standard of having it all is unfair and self-destructive. It kills our motivation and contentment.
In the end, all any of us really have is what God gives us today. Will we trust it’s enough?
Trust in Him at all times, you people;
pour out your hearts to Him,
for God is our refuge. Psalm 62:8 NIV
I’m excited to be headed to my first BlogHer conference next month.
look! it’s me & Ella in New York!
Decided to go on a whim. Not sure how it happened. One email led to another, and soon I’ll be on my way to New York City.
I’ll be an itty-bitty blogger among the big guns at the BlogHer conference. Martha Stewart is a keynote speaker. THE Martha Stewart. Somebody pinch me.
The last time I was in New York was 20 years ago. Now that I’ve lived in Chicago and St. Louis, I’m ready to make strudel out of the Big Apple!
Lucky for me I’m rooming with two wonderful women who make killer strudel in real life. Katie Pinke of Pinke Post and Nancy Grossi of The Wife of a Dairyman are gracious to pull me in at the last minute.
Amy Heinz, Using Our Words
I look forward to meeting other online friends at BlogHer like Leah Beyer of Beyer Beware and Amy Heinz of Using Our Words and Disney Baby. Amy’s been to BlogHer before. She was kind to answer my most burning questions:
Q: You mentioned business cards are a must. I have a very simple business card, and I’m worried it won’t be flashy enough. Do I need to redesign and reprint cards?
Amy: No doubt whatever you have is fine. A simple card with your name, blog, and website is plenty. A lot of sponsors will collect cards so they can email you. I highly recommend being sure it’s really a brand or prize you care about before dropping your card in a bowl.
Q: What do you do at this conference? Do bloggers just go around meeting each other, exchanging cards, and talking about their blogs? I better get my 15-second interview answers ready!
Katie Pinke, Pinke Post
Amy: Last year they opened with an activity where you had 30 seconds to talk to people and exchange blog info. I probably got to about 10 people. It’s really smart to have a 15-second description. There are other opportunities for meeting people like meals, smaller sessions, hallway chats.
Q: Are you expected to read and follow all the bloggers you meet? What’s the etiquette?
Nancy Grossi, The Wife of a Dairyman
Amy: You’ll meet a lot of people. Too many to follow them all. I recommend giving yourself a system. Put a dot on the cards of people you meet who you think you’d be most interested in reading and following. Make notes about your conversation with each blogger on their business cards.
Q: I signed up for the Thursday sessions. What are they like?
Amy: I haven’t been to those, but my friend who went Thursday last year loved it. I think it’s great to get there early and dive in.
Q: Can I choose which sessions to attend at the big conference?
Amy: Yes, you can go to whatever you want and pop in and out of the sessions. It’s very low-key. Some sessions are really popular. Map out what sessions you’re interested in beforehand on the schedule.
Leah Beyer, Beyer Beware
Q: This is the most important question. What should I wear?
Amy: It’s business casual. Be yourself and be comfortable. I usually bring casual dresses because they’re so comfortable and easy to pack.
During the day, wear layers and comfortable shoes. It can be really hot outside and really cold in the conference rooms. The sponsors alone take up multiple floors, so there’s a ton of walking, just within the hotel.
For evening parties, wear cocktail attire or a step up from daytime dresses.
with love from New York
Q: Anything else I should know?
Amy: It’s fun to dive into a world where people think what you do is really cool and oh-so important. See you soon!
Thank you, Amy. Read more from Amy at Using Our Words and Disney Baby. And be sure to visit the blogs of all the talented women featured in this post.
Tell ’em Aimee sent you. Oh, and that’s not me in the photo. I have no idea who it is, but I believe that’s some kind of squash pictured with her. Now you’ve got to click over to see this!
Quite coincidentally, we’ll be talking more BlogHer news in a post scheduled for tomorrow. See you back here in the morning.
Praise the Lord, my soul,
and forget not all his benefits. Psalm 103:2 NIV
Not the laser printer kind. The skincare kind. I know it’s supposed to exfoliate. Every skincare program includes it. But it’s way too harsh for my very dry skin.
“Oh, no! You can’t do that!” they say. “You just need another formulation. You must exfoliate with a Clarifying Lotion in Step 2.”
Must. A small but mighty manipulative word.
There are skincare lines that boast of a kinder, gentler exfoliation. A-thousand-points-of-light toners, smelling of orange blossoms and chamomile. Might as well splash cold tea or rose water on my face.
Seriously, what does toner do? Is it necessary when an occasional 7 Day Scrub does the trick to get rid of dead skin cells?
Daily cleansing and moisturizing is what my skin needs to be healthy. Like confession and restoration. Toner is optional. Like legalism in a bottle.
very dry to dry
It’s an added step. An upstanding thing to do perhaps. A requirement by those who added it. Usually does more harm than good. Absolutely not a deal breaker to get the desired results.
I don’t want to get by with less than what I need or less than what’s best. But I don’t want the unnecessary, heavy, drying burden of add-ons either.
My time’s too precious to succumb to legalism. My skin’s too dry to use toner.
Then Jesus said, “Come to Me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you. Let Me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.” Matthew 11:28-30 NLT
Have you ever encountered legalism? How did you let go of it or have you?
Disclaimer: I’m not being compensated to promote Clinique, nor do I mean to pick on them. Personally, I like and use Clinique products. Just not the toner.
A few months ago I noticed tweets about people getting +Ks.
influential about unicorns
What was this mysterious letter sign? How could I get one? A little digging led me to Klout.
When you sign up, Klout gives you a score. “The Klout Score measures influence based on your ability to drive action,” reads their website.
I write content and publish it. You read it. Klout measures how well my content influences you to do something crazy like share it with others, thus advancing our plans to take over the world.
I signed up and received a nice, steady score. Even got a coveted +K signifying super influential-ness. All was well in the land of Klout until Klout began naming the topics about which I was influential.
“Klout believes you are influential about Blogging.”
Yes! I knew it!
“Klout believes you are influential about Bacon.”
I like bacon. I’ve written about the loss and recovery of my Seduced By Bacon book. Hadn’t thought of myself as influential about bacon, but we’ll go with it.
“Klout believes you are influential about Earthquakes.”
Wait. I’ve never written about earthquakes. Maybe they meant tornadoes or natural disasters. Can a bad pedicure be considered a natural disaster?
“Klout believes you are influential about Unicorns.”
What? Me, a unicorn whisperer?
My friend Jesse found this one amusing enough to award me a +K for Unicorns, effectively securing it as my most influential topic. Thank you, Jesse. Remind me to return the favor by awarding you a +K for Pirates or Coleslaw.
“Klout believes you are influential about Magic.”
Now I know something’s wrong here.
The topics of everyday epistle range far and wide. We discuss it all because we can. Variety is the spice of life.
influential about bacon
Instead of finding the common threads in my content, Klout interprets this breadth as 14 random topics I’m influential about. Adding insult to injury, they dubbed me a Klout Style Specialist.
“Your content is likely focused around a specific topic or industry with a focused, highly-engaged audience,” says Klout. Right.
Maybe they have a point. I need to focus. Pare down. Organize. Search engine optimize. But I still have my doubts.
There are ways to influence your own Klout score, apart from simply creating and publishing great content. Yet there aren’t ways to measure the quality of the content you produce or the quality of your readers and their comments.
No extra credit for correct spelling, grammar, and punctuation either. What kind of grading system is this anyway?
Besides all that, cyber terrorists, competitors, or prankster friends can influence your Klout score in undesirable ways. Not to mention the attacks by aliens.
“Klout believes you are influential about Space.” Go figure.
Xanadu to you, Klout, with Magicby Olivia Newton John.
“Think of a mercenary socialite, holding a calculator and trying to figure out who to invite to a party based on import. Then put whatever number she arrives at on every guest’s lapel. That’s Klout.” posted by Nicolas Thompson in The New Yorker
The Guided Transfer to WordPress.org is set to begin in T-7 hours at 5 a.m UTC. That’s 11 p.m. CST tonight!
new beginnings
The Happiness Engineers have asked me not to make any changes to my site during the 24-hour process. That means no replies to comments and no new posts. Had to get in just one more for good measure.
Funny how the freedom to communicate is no big deal until someone tells me I can’t use it.
The engineers explained to me they are technically setting up a new site, even though it will have the same web address and the same content (we hope) as this one. It will be kind of like starting over from scratch. Or moving to a new house in a new city.
As with any move, I imagine some items will need to be fixed or replaced. A share button here. A spam catcher there.
Please bear with me as I move in and set up house. It may take a little time to put things back together. Pray for an easy learning curve for me and patience for the support people at WordPress and Bluehost. I have a feeling I’ll be leaning on them a lot in the next few days.
Pray for my husband and son, too. You get to read about the emotion; they get to live with it.
I miss my old blog already. It has been a Godsend to me. Didn’t expect this change would be so exciting, scary, and bittersweet. Feels like very much like the first time I hit the publish button.
This marks my 225th post. Ready or not, here we go.
May Your unfailing love be with us, Lord,
even as we put our hope in You. Psalm 33:22 NIV
The time has come for this blog to give self-hosting a try.
take your pick
Those of you who have been with me since the beginning of this crazy blogging experiment will remember I told you we’d overcome blogging together. Well, sharpen your pencils. School’s in session.
I adore WordPress; it will remain my blogging platform. But now instead of WordPress.com hosting and in a way owning my blog, I’ll pay a company called Bluehost $6.95 a month to host it for me on WordPress.org.
A WordPress Happiness Engineer will assist us starting at 5 a.m. tomorrow (eek!) in a 24-hour Guided Transfer process. Our engineer’s name is Hew. He’ll move everyday epistle from this site to the new, self-hosted site.
Everyone, please say hello to Hew in the comments.
Tell Hew how important it is to you that nothing be lost in the transfer and that he has us up and running in no time flat. We wouldn’t want an unhappy blogger girl, now would we?
A few other things you might like to know:
dot com
1. The Guided Transfer is “transparent” to readers. I think that means you won’t feel a thing. Please let me know if anything seems out of the ordinary—apart from the regular out-of-the-ordinary you’ve come to expect here.
2. Parting is such sweet sorrow. I’m thankful for WordPress.com and recommend it to anyone who wants to start a blog. WordPress.com gave me the chance to write and a beautiful place to do it for free. It’s with much deliberation (months and months of it, ask my husband!) I make this transition.
3. The widgets made me do it. I’m excited to try self-hosting because there is much to learn and be gained—like additional widgets. Widgets are those cool plug-ins that will allow us to do all sorts of cool plug-in things. Self-hosting will give me access to Google Analytics and custom themes. I’ll have more choices if ever I acquire sponsors, allow advertising again, or create something to sell.
I can’t wait to test drive all the bells and whistles. But first we have to make it through the Guided Transfer in one piece.
online able
Notice that Bluehost rhymes with Holy Ghost, another name for the Holy Spirit, the third person of the Trinity. Reminds me of God’s care in all circumstances.
Calm me, Lord. Bless Hew as he works. Bless Bluehost as they do whatever it is they do. Go before this process and make ready the widgets. Amen.
See you on the other side.
In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. Romans 8:26 NIV
Our summer schedule doesn’t allow time for the mom to make it to yoga class. I bike and swim with my son, but yoga quest is officially suspended.
I can hear my instructor. “I see some bellies that look like they’re on vacation,” she’d say when we weren’t properly engaging the core in class.
She’d be mortified to see that now my belly really is on vacation. It’s on a Mediterranean cruise, complete with an endless antipasto bar and a Big Gulp Coke. Sip on that, Mayor Bloomberg.
It’s gone to Disneyland where dreams really do come true whether you exercise or not. You’ve never seen Snow White on a StairMaster, have you? All you need is a little Tinkerbell, a pumpkin, and a pair of glass slippers.
My belly unfolds like a beached whale on the sand. It spreads out like a jellyfish washed ashore. I took it to Vermont, home of Ben & Jerry’s for crying out loud. Can you say Vermonster?
Enough! It’s not that bad. It’s not yoga-belly either. My pilates paunch has gone kaput. The core is no more.
